The Gospel According to Hugo Cockley

September 17, 2004

The Purple Heart is for Whiners

Iíve finally found a reason to like Bob Dole. While I find the fact that he has one shriveled up arm pretty funny, any amusement I originally got from this was quickly countered by his erectile dysfunction ads. But then I saw one of his latest interviews, where he ridicules the Purple Heart, and it occurred to me that the man is a fellow chaos lover. I never would have guessed it, given his service in WWII and his standing as a national hero; in fact it seemed as though his whole life has been dedicated to bringing order to the world. Yet there he was, demeaning the Purple Heart, as though the people who won them were really cry babies, not worthy of any awards or respect, despite the fact they had all sacrificed their bodies (some Purple Heart winners were even more seriously disfigured than Dole) to fight chaos.

And thatís great! As though people didnít have a million other reasons not to want to join the military or go to war, now they have to worry about any honor they may or may not receive being the object of ridicule. Thatís a surefire way to keep moral down and spread chaos. And itís especially great because of the fact there are now over a hundred thousand soldiers serving in Iraq, in constant danger and hated by the people they were assigned to liberate; and now, should they risk their lives for such an ungrateful people and happen to be injured, shriveled old men like Bob Dole, deserters like GW, and simply evil men like Dick Cheney have belittled the medal injured soldiers are due to receive so much, that a committee has been reduced to advertising the Purple Heart on TV.

Between the Purple Heart band-aids being passed around the Republican convention and the advertisements, I actually had a moment where I felt sorry for the beleaguered medal. Itís been reduced to the same status as what were once precious US coins that are now being sold on TV for $9.99. But then I saw the beauty of the situation, the irony of cowards criticizing heroes, and the potential for thousands upon thousands of citizens being dissuaded from fighting chaos around the world. If weíre lucky, all our soldiers will simply lay down their arms and simply refuse to fight.

Unfortunately, though, I doubt weíll be THAT lucky. It seems as though no matter how much scorn Republicans like Dole and Bush bring down upon the military, whether it be by ridiculing the Purple Heart or people who volunteered to fight for their country or by simply avoiding service by benefit of being rich and well connected, a majority of the military still, not only love their country, but also the President and his cronies in the Republican Party. Just the other day Bush was getting wildly cheered by people in the National Guard, an outfit that he abandoned and has grossly misused in Iraq.

But whatever. At the very least I can comfort myself with those pathetic Purple Heart TV ads and knowledge that some of this countryís leaders also love chaosÖ.

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