The Gospel According to Hugo Cockley

August 29, 2004

The Goodwill Games

America is truly a beautiful place. We’ve got natural beauty in the form of lakes, rivers, forests, mountains, etc; we’ve got man made beauty, like our sky scrapers and smoke stacks, planes and cars, etc.; and in the same vein, we have natural (and equally beautiful) chaos (like volcanoes, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc) and man-made chaos (nuclear weapons, a military that likes to “pre-empt” non-existent threats). But on August 27, 2004 America became even more beautiful when a violent protest erupted upon Colin Powell’s arrival in Athens, Greece.

God, it’s wonderful, special, splendiferous and amazing when chaos can erupt in any part of the world at the mere presence of an American official. That people are so mad at us that an official of our country can turn these people violent without so much as speaking certainly must put us in the pantheon of chaos-bringing countries. French dignitaries don’t get that kind of reception, much to their chagrin, I’m sure, given their inherent jealousy of everything American. Nor do the Germans or Japanese, or any of those African countries who have spent the last 20 years starving their people, hacking arms off, and giving AIDS to each other. Not even Stalin or Hitler got that kind of reception when they visited far away lands.

America must have truly fucked up the world to inspire such hatred. Sure, our leaders will tell you differently. That they’re making the world “safer” or that, except for a few people, the rest of the world wants to throw flowers at our feet. Of course, most of us are happy to accept these assurances as long as we can continue buying SUVs and houses that look exactly the same as their neighbors and the chaos of the rest of world doesn’t affect them in any way other than having to pay a couple of more pennies for gas. Personally, I believe this kind of ignorance is a sad thing, since it prevents awareness of the great chaos going on all around us. One day, these people might wake up and find that half the world has blown itself up, and they will have missed it all. Like the bad Christians and heathens of the Left Behind series, they will have been left behind. To each there own, I guess.

But I digress. I’m just so proud of my country right now. Yet I wonder if I shouldn’t be expecting more from our country. Why does it take an official to cause a riot? Why can’t the average American go to Greece and all hell break loose? Can’t America be even more beautiful?

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