MOC Visits Chaos Central: Washington DC!!!

by Professor Chaos

I recently realized that this site is incomplete without a tribute to one of the most chaotic cities in the world, Washington, DC. Home of the chaos bringer known as Dubya, and many other war hawks in Congress. These brave men bring us wars all over the world where most sane people wouldn't even think of putting them. In my book, that is the very definition of chaos.

So with this in mind, I packed all of my belongings into a bandana, tied it to a stick, and made a pilgrimage to DC. I decdided that a daytime visit would be the most useful, so as to take pictures and document the chaos for all of you to see. I brought along the famous Monkey Doc to help me catalog the rampant destruction. Nothing could have prepared us for what we found: Not a fucking thing. Somehow, I had to take the nicest day of the year and find a way to portray it in an evil manner. But I'm up to the task.


Feast your eyes upon the lamest of the monuments, Jefferson. Why do we even care about Jefferson? How about a monument to the ultimate badass Founding Father? That's right, I'm talking about Alexander Hamilton. This guy died in a fucking DUEL for christ's sake. How did Jefferson die? I don't even know. That's how lame he was.


Here's a shot of the World War II memorial. Unlike World War II, there is nothing chaotic about it. I mean, I guess a kid could fall in the water and not know how to swim. Unlikely, but a man can dream...


Make up your own joke about how phallic the Washington Monument looks and send it to me.


Here we see a man so deathly bored by the cherry blossoms that he's about to push his own daughter into the tidal basin. I could have stopped it, but then I wouldn't have gotten this awesome picture.


Duck Cheney, the famous duck that decided to nest in front of the Treasury building. See the open bill? That means she's panting. Clearly, she is hot and thus, suffering.


Yours truly with Duck Cheney. This is right before I scaled the fence and Terri Schiavo'd her.


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